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Archive for May, 2009

Last week I took Friday off to prepare for my long awaited Memorial day weekend up at Hippie Hollow.  It was a lovely day and I was feeling rather blessed to be able to take a day off with no problems and indulge in things like a pedicure and a trip to Central Market to load up on food.  It was going to be an awesome weekend! 

I caught myself feeling rather guilty at having such a good life.  Then I checked myself.  A long time ago something (minor) happened that made me realize I should enjoy the good times because right around the corner is a big pile of shit waiting for you to step in it. Case in point: my Memorial Day Weekend.

It all started well enough.  I had my book on cd from the library and a freshly loaded and charged ipod.  I woke up bright and early at 5am, stopped off at BofA to get dinero for the park fee and, of course, Starbucks to get me through the first leg of the 3 hour drive up to Austin.  I made it to the park early and was happy to find only one other car in the lot.  The primo spots were mine for the taking.

Unfortunately the water level was still low.  This proved to be bad for reasons beyond not finding a decent spot to lie in.  But more on that later. I wandered around to my new favorite spot in the little cove beyond the second bathroom only to find nothing but rocks near the water.   I ran into the one other park occupant who told me it was very unlikely I’d find a spot near the water.  I ended up trekking back to the little place before the second bathroom where there was an actual beach, even if it was clouded in shade at that moment.  In a few hours I the sun would be high enough to give me that tan I so desperately needed, right?  Little did I know….

There was one clothed man eating an avocado at the stairs where I wanted to be.  I didn’t like it one bit, but he didn’t have the aura of an ogler and he was sitting there first so I had no cause to complain.  There’s no point in going to nude beaches if you are worried about people seeing you naked after all.   So I made my way down, created a comfy spot (or as much as there can be at Hippie Hollow) and stripped. 

An hour later a reader of this blog woke me from my stupor and introduced himself. We sat and chatted.  It turns out he’s a Mormon (LDS?…I’m not sure about the PCness here) and he was thanking me for introducing him to LDS nudists through my blog!  Always happy to be of help to fellow nudists.  He had created a spot higher up where the crowds usually are and so after about half an hour we parted ways.

Then tragedy struck.

If you happened to be in the park around 9:30 ish and an hour or so after, all that hoopla?  Yeah, that was me.  Unknown fact (til now): I have hip replacements.  So  there…now you know all bodies on nude beaches aren’t perfect.  Anyway the right was recently done and I made the boneheaded move of turning my knee inward and…bam!  out came the ball from the socket.    I won’t go into the details of the excruciating pain that caused, except to say I imagine it will be what it’s like if I give birth….to twins…..at the exact same time…without meds.  Here are photos to illustrate the point:

The difference between what my hip should and shouldn't look like.

The difference between what my hip should and shouldn't look like.

As I lay there screaming and helpless but, in the words of Mr. Burns, finding only slack jawed gawkers (and shame on you guys!!!), I finally called out specifically to a man who happened to be walking by.  He also happened to be my Mormon (LDS?) friend from before.  I’ll call him Sam*.  Someone up there was paying attention.  Related Note:This whole experience questioned my lack of spirituality.  Still opposed to organized religion, but I’ve no cause to pick on religious individuals and have to wonder at certain pieces falling into place.

Long story short in bullet format:

  • Sam rushes down to my aid, holds my leg in place to keep it from moving and bringing on more unimaginable pain
  • Sam continues to hold even when it’s obvious rocks and pieces of glass from inconsiderate asses who violate the park rules and bring in glass bottles only to break them are digging into his knees
  • I stupidly ask Sam to get my phone so I can call my mom and have her look online to see how we can get my hip back into place
  • Mom, predictably, tells me in no uncertain terms to CALL THE PARAMEDICS!
  • Sam, thinking far more straight than I am at the time, suggests calling the ranger and does so
  • Ranger calls EMS
  • Sam, still thinking far more straight than I am, suggests I put my top back on.  Note I am now rather embarrassed at the indelicate poses I must have made completely naked while my mind was focused elsewhere.
  • All in all poor Sam made about 4-5 trips up and down the rocks for me.  And got all my belonging safely back to my car.

Now here’s the part that will be helpful for your purposes.  When EMS is called you get not only EMS, but the fire department and a bunch of park rangers as well.  This is especially if, as was the case this weekend (Memorial Day Weekend!?), there are no boats on hand to carry you out the easy way.  All in all there were about 15 guys total.  Fortunately they were all strapping handsome men and perfectly friendly and helpful, thus making me feel like the Queen of Sheba as they lifted me from my spot on the beach, unnaturally low because of the water level. 

The nice EMT gave me a delicious shot of something to curb the nausea and and even more wonderful shot of something to kill the pain.  Thus I felt nothing when they lifted me on my towel into the “rescue” stretcher.  Everyone seemed like they were having a grand old time despite the hike up.  I’m sure the fact that they were surrounded by nude gawkers helped alleviate the same-old, same-old of the experience. Still, kudos to them for bringing a sense of levity to the situation.  Even more kudos to them for managing to haul my hefty ass up all those rocks without dropping me or falling to their deaths. Case in point:

Like this...but with the water 10 feet lower!

Like this...but with the water 10 feet lower!

 Some fun Hippie Hollow facts from the rangers who tried to chat away my distress.  The highest the water has ever been was at the railings for the path through the park in 2007!  For those who’ve been there, the water was at eye level in all the bathrooms.  The lowest was about 16 feet below what it was that day.  According to him I would have had to wait for a boat had that been the case.  

Then I was whisked off to Seton hospital where they made me sit and wait several hours because I had the non–prophetic bad sense to actuall eat something when I got to the park. Then they gave me more drugs (unfortunately NOT before the excruciating experience of being moved from the stretcher to my hospital cot or having to shift my leg to take x-rays), tried 4 times to knock that sucker back in (of which I was thankfully conscious for only 1).   Finally they gave up, put me completely under and got it back into place.  Thus forcing me to spend the night.

yadda, yadda, yadda, as I type this I’m pretty much back to normal except my entire body is sore, I suppose from being tense for 5 hours straight.  What a work out!  I have some sort of post traumatic thing happening where I shudder at the thought of going back  to Hippie Hollow lest it should all happen again. 

But how can I avoid the place I love, which has brought me so much joy?  Rest assured I will whip my subconscious back into shape  in time to get a pre-vacation tan so I don’t look like a complete novice on the nude beaches of the Netherlands/Belgium!

Here are photos of the whole endeavor Sam caught with his cell phone.   Sorry for the small size, it was too blurring when enlarged

Putting me in stretcher

Putting me in stretcher

Prepping the drugs

Prepping the drugs

carrying me from the beach

carrying me from the beach

starting the hike up

starting the hike up

more hiking up

more hiking up

My carriage awaits

My carriage awaits

*all names have been changed to protect the nudists.

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Cottontails

Lookee at me updating nearly every day!  What can I say, nude beach season gets me excited.

I’ve probably revealed enough about myself and my plans to make me an obvious target this weekend in Hippie Hollow.  Ah well, three days in a row will give me enough alone time to welcome the occasional company.

But I have to confess, I’ll be rather embarrassed. No, not about the nudity bit (obviously).  Anyone hoping for a Playboy centerfold will be (rightfully) disappointed.

But it’s been almost 9 months since my total body has seen the light of day and, well, it shows.  One of the first things I learned when I joined the nudist ranks is that you can tell the newbies/amateurs  by the fact that their ass is pretty darn pale; Hence the term “cottontails.” And while my ass will never be what one considers pale it’s a far cry from my face, arms, and legs.  My only hope is that my tanning genes go into action quickly and make me nice and toasty before it starts to get too crowded. 

In unfortunate related news it looks like rain this weekend.  Am I annoyed?  Nope.  Some of the best times I’ve had have been during the rain.  I’m already going to get wet and the only issue is protecting my ipod/book/food.  Besides it’s only a 30% chance.  This bodes well for the occasional, or more, cloud to aleviate the blistering heat…because of course it will still be a Texas summer. 

Psst…partly/mostly cloudy warm days are the BEST time to go!

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Yesterday I finally booked my hotel rooms for Amsterdam/Ostende/Paris in July.  I’m finally starting to get past the “I’m going to Europe!” phase and into the “(oh dear) I’m going to Europe!” phase.  Meaning I’m no longer excited in an amorphous delight at the prospect of finally jumping on the international travel bandwagon, but I’m now thinking of what to pack, what to see, and learning how to say “can you take a photo of me” in French.

I  think for the most part I’ve decided to wing the bulk of it.  I have a vague idea of what is in each location and will somehow make my way to the important bits.  Of course I have my nude beach going down pat.  One must always plan for that since most are so off the beaten path. 

Today the Satorialist had a photo of a girl on a bike.  His quote: I love that girls in NYC wear cute little dresses to ride their bikes.  I found it strangely indicative of my own planned adventures in Amsterdam. I’ve decided to pack all the too-short cute little dresses with which to ride my rented bike around that particular city.  There is something about travel that makes me inclined to do things I wouldn’t dream of in Houston.

It occurred me that this weekend is my first trip back to Hippie Hollow since the failed attempt back in February. Based on weather reports I have no fear that I will freeze my nipples off this time. Au contraire, I may very well be frying them off as the temp is set to reach the 90s!  But at least it will be partly cloudy.  I’ve found that my best experiences are when it’s warm out but threatening to rain.  It’s less crowded and the clouds are a welcome reprieve from the unbearable heat.  Then of course there’s the water…which always seems to be deliciously chilly.

In preparation I’ve finally filled my new ipodwith my old songs.  It’s needed on the 3-hour drive up (when my book on tape gets boring) and, more importantly, for laying out in the sun. On one rather unfortunate trip to Hippie Hollow my old ipod decided to die on me….only to resurrect upon my return home for some ungodly reason.  It not a fun trip.  What good is lying around nude with no soundtrack?   I won’t bore you with a complete song list (which is now reaching the 200 mark…my god but these things hold a lot of music!) but how’s this for a motley mix of recent additions:

  • Moonlight Sonata-Beethoven
  • The Bad Touch-Bloodhound Gang
  • I’m Like a Bird-Nelly Furtado
  • Anna-Gunnar Madsen
  • Doo Wop (That Thing)-Lauryn Hill
  • Sweet Talkin Woman-ELO
  • Atrevete-te-te-Calle 13
  • Aldonza-Man of La Mancha Soundtrack
  • Sexx Laws-Beck
  • Amor Divino-Cafe Tacuba
  • Big Pimpin-Jay-Z
  • Concerto for Trumpet-Telemann
  • Start all Over-Myley Cyrus

I  think most people have this kind of randomness but won’t admit it.

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Oops!

{Egads this site is slow today!}

Well my friends it looks as though yours truly has dropped the ball.   I missed First Splash at Hippie Hollow!  As has been made clear to me by several of you, it actually took place the first weekend in May.  Something in the back of my mind clicked and it kind of makes sense now…well, sort of.  I believe it takes place when they finally end their shortened off season hours and let people into the park from 8am-9pm.  What better reason to celebrate?!

But it was pouring in Houston at the time, and by all accounts wasn’t all that much better in Austin.  Plus, I didn’t get a free extra day off work.  Not to begrudge Austinites their extra few hours during the first part of May, but wouldn’t it make more sense to celebrate properly….for a full three days?!  After all, I personally like to think that our men and women are serving in part to protect our right to express ourselves au natural.  You can bet your ass there are no nude beaches in communist China!

So in two weeks I will be on my merry way to Austin to visit Hippie Hollow yet again. I have no idea where I’ll be laying as I’m sure the water level is far different than the last time I was there, especially considering all the rain we’ve had.  It’s always a surprise.  If you are there use the to the right photo to try and guess which one of the naked bottoms I’ll be.  It’s not too hard, there usually aren’t that many (naturally) brown ones there. 🙂  But feel free to introduce yourself…and tell me how much you love my blog. :))

Happy Tanning!

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